Home MotherhoodTips How to survive a bad mom day

How to survive a bad mom day

October 5, 2018

You know those days where nothing seems to go right? And then you add a little human into the mix, and nothing is going right for them either. They’re crying, your tired, everything is a mess, you can’t figure out what they want, you’ve tried everything, you’re tired, they’re still crying, you have a headache cus you haven’t had water in 2 days, you’re tired, more tears, now you’re both crying…. I could go on, but I’m pretty sure every mama reading this can relate to some extent.

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Motherhood (parenthood) is HARD. Add social media into the mix, where, from the outside, it seems like everyone else has their sh** together, and I haven’t even started with the mum guilt that goes on behind closed doors, because you feel like you don’t have it together when everyone else seems to be doing good.

Well guess what mama, we all have no clue what we’re doing. And even that perfect insta mum has days where she’s pullling out her hair and sobbing her heart out because there is no manual when it comes these little humans. There is a crap load of advice, conflicting advice, and opinions out there. But there is no manual made specifically for YOUR CHILD.

I have had many of these tough days; so I thought I’d put together a little list (mainly just a reminder for myself for when another bad day comes around) to help. These are a few things that us mamas can do to try and make things a little easier.

[1] Get out of the house (just you)

If you can leave your baby with someone, go to the shops and get a coffee and walk around even if it’s just for 20 minutes. The time alone will give you a moment to clear your mind, the coffee (or juice, or whatever your little treat is) is something that’s just for you. I dunno about you guys, but it can be so easy for everything to be about bubs, I mean we have to literally do everything for them (bath, feed, change, love, cuddle etc) it is always nice to feel treated and spoiled, even if you have to spoil yourself. I recently did just this, and I bought myself a new pair of sunglasses and some new makeup. Honestly, just having a little break was so needed. It’s easy to feel mum guilt for leaving your baby, but if you think about it, by taking care of yourself, your enabling yourself to be the best possible carer for them as well. And when you come back from your quick little break, you literally feel refreshed and ready to give it another go. There is no right or wrong in motherhood, there is just what is best for you, and your baby.

[2] Get out of the house (both of you, together!)

If you can’t leave your baby with someone, pop them in the car, and go for a drive. Stop at the shops and still treat yourself to a coffee. If you can’t fathom the thought of driving somewhere, you could always just take the baby for a walk in the pram, the fresh air will do you both good. I do this all the time. Going for walks has become my go-to for days when it’s tough. Jasp gets real quiet in the pram, and he starts to look around at the trees at the park, or I’ll give him a teething rusk or toy and he’s happy chappy. Something about the movement. It’s nice because I don’t have to do much, other than push the pram, to keep him happy. I also get some exercise and blood flowing which is good, and it’s a nice change of scenery.

[3] Reach out for help

If you’re in a mothers group, or have a close mum friend, either invite them over, or go out somewhere together. Talking to another adult who can relate to you is free therapy!

They can also offer you a perspective that you may not have thought of. And maybe just having a new face for bubs to look at will help calm them down and cheer them up.

[4] Take 5, and reset

If it’s really bad, and you can’t get out of your house; leave your baby somewhere safe, like the bassinet, or cot, for 5-15 minutes and just take a moment to yourself to reset. Have a quick shower, wash your face, eat something. Just give yourself a moment to compose yourself, because if you’re stressed, your baby can sense that and will feed off your vibe. Once you’ve taken a moment to yourself, go back in and have another go. Remember a baby crying is their way of communicating to you, you will eventually figure out what the issue is!

[5] Have a good old cry

It is okay to cry. Let it out, get it out of your system, and go back and try again. Sometimes a good old cry is what it takes for you to just let go of what you’re feeling, then you can wipe away those tears feeling better.

There have been days where I have done all of the above and I still feel like garbage, and you know what, that’s okay too. Tomorrow is a new day, and you can start fresh then. The good days far outweigh the hard days. The hard days make you realise how much these little babes depend on us, and that we are there for them, to support them, help them through their emotions too.

I feel like I am rambling, but I just want you mamas to know that it’s okay, we’re all doing the best we can, and that’s all our babes can ask for! I hope these help, they are coming from a good place (I definitely don’t have it all together, and I definitely don’t have all the answers) I just thought that if these could help one mama on one bad day, then that’d be awesome!

 

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